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  #1  
Old 01-29-2006, 10:54 PM
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Striperjim Striperjim is offline
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Default Redneck Love Pomes

Love Pome

Collards is green my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!!
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  #2  
Old 01-29-2006, 11:11 PM
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Default


Roses is red an' my neck's red too
an' you make my lips pucker like a big plug o' chew.
If you was my shed I'd be proud to have made ya
an' if you was my gun, in my rack I'd display ya.
Cuz yer sleek like a bass boat an' hotter'n fire
yer more grippin' to me than a new set o' tires.
I'm a sad, lovesick fool jus' a-carryin' a torch
an' I whine like them houn' dogs that's under my porch.
Cuz you make my head spin
like i'uz drinkin' White Lightnin'
(I ain't use to much thinkin'
I confess it's a mite fright'nin')
But you've stol my poor heart
like that big ol' tornader
that come through last month
an' took off with my trailer...
So I'll give you sum candy an' flowers by the duz'n --
Heck, I'd rather kiss you than my purt'iest cuz'n!
You 'n' me go together
like catfish "n' beer batter!


Little Rays Pacifier
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  #3  
Old 04-08-2006, 06:00 PM
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You Might be a redneck





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  #4  
Old 04-09-2006, 04:26 AM
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Default

Them poem thare is a so beeutful it darn near made me cry somin fierce

thank you kindly Jimmy bob

bless yu
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  #5  
Old 04-09-2006, 08:37 AM
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ckphelps ckphelps is offline
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Default

Is there something stinky that leaks from that guys belly button?

Hey wait a minute my rank is cow belly,What you trying to say Jim,I don't look like that.
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  #6  
Old 06-24-2006, 10:46 AM
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Default Your a Redneck "New Addition"

Here's the brand new edition of "You-know-you're-a-redneck-when . . . "


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6 The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grndmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
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  #7  
Old 07-07-2006, 02:19 PM
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  #8  
Old 09-29-2006, 06:56 PM
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Stupid white trash

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear neighbors,

As a white person I have no problem calling you exactly what you are--white trash.
I could not afford to buy a house in any other neighborhood so here I am. Thank god
the neighborhood is changing and your kind is becoming extinct around here. I
have no problem with poverty; I do have a freekin problem with your disrespect
for your neighbors. Train your freekin dogs not to bark for an hour just because
they hear a squirrel in a tree or a neighbor three houses away trying to work
outside. My dog is proof that you can do that and have appropriate security
instead of neighbors wishing you or your dog would die. Take a freekin parenting
class instead of screaming at your poor children for all the neighborhood to hear.
I WILL report your ass to DHS; I am biding my time so you won't know who did it.
Quit coming outside and glaring at me as I walk my dog, with plastic bags IN HAND,
YOU MORON. I will pick up the sh*t but I really don't think one pile of dog crap
will detract from your rundown house with the weed patch for a yard and rusting
RVs and cars in front. Please. Also, gunning/revving the engine of your barely
working vehicle at midnight on a work night makes me dream of pouring sugar in
the tank. Hey, if I do and you can't get to work will it force you to sell your
dump and leave? Hmmmm. Quit glaring at the people of color and immigrants who
are now here and making you look bad. They use their money to plant a couple of
flowers instead of buying generic cigarettes. We are tidy and you are goddam slobs.
Trust me, I am also glad you are patriotic; your four US flags say so, but they
don't cover up the fact your house is so bad it will hopefully blow over in the
next big storm. I didn't know it was patriotic to reinforce negative American
stereotypes that have the rest of the world laughing their asses off. I can wait
you out. Property taxes are going up and you will get forced out. I may even be
neighborly and offer to help you load the moving truck and then flip you off as
you drive away.

anonomous
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  #9  
Old 09-30-2006, 03:44 AM
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"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country" George S. Patton






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  #10  
Old 09-30-2006, 03:46 AM
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Default

A cuplle picteres from thee weddin. The cake was beeutifel





lordy yer so fine babe

I luv u
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  #11  
Old 10-16-2006, 12:22 AM
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Default Re: Your a Redneck "New Addition"

Your a redneck music video compilation
LC heres the redneck compilation again
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  #12  
Old 10-17-2006, 12:31 AM
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Default Re: Your a Redneck "New Addition"

https://stripers247.com/redneckcompilation.wmv

This is the url
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  #13  
Old 10-18-2006, 12:18 PM
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Location: Greenhill Rhode Island
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Default Re: Your a Redneck "New Addition"

Not sure if I want to know, but, How the hell do you find them thar URLs?

Other day I heard a hillbilly friend of mine tell a guy that "you couldbe a R.I. Redneck if you come from north of the bay."
Knowing what was meant, and the guy saying "thanks",,, I spit my beer out before chokin.
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  #14  
Old 10-18-2006, 01:21 PM
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Default Re: Your a Redneck "New Addition"





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"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country" George S. Patton






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  #15  
Old 10-19-2006, 08:39 AM
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Default Re: Your a Redneck "New Addition"

The best book you'll read in the next 10 years...






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